| for all my bitching... |
[05 Nov 2009|05:36pm] |
thank god for facebook. got in touch with friends up at fort hood even with all the cells being fubar.
everybody knows everybody and i know it's going to be rough...
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| Inspired? |
[09 Jun 2009|01:08pm] |
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I'm so in lust with Zena Holloway right now. awesome underwater photography. go forth and google.
i know this is way beyond anything i can accomplish, but admiration is a feeling people don't appreciate anymore. i don't paint at all like my favorite artists, the ones who I would collect if i had the millions of dollars. is that odd? i think i do paint because i can't afford the art i love, in a dream world i would have become a curator. photography, painting, sculpture the lot. i wish i could recreate them, but it's so much above me..
example (and there's a few knock offs floating around houston, let me know if you see one for sale somewhere) zhu yi yong.
okay not the best picture but if you saw it up close you could see the FIBERS on that yarn. i know i have these huge rants about political pop. but i like it, very very much with that extra little sweetness of guilty hypocrisy.
anyway, so i need stimulants right now. brain foods. photos video sounds even perfume right now is getting stuck in my little primative little franky noggin. not kidding... freakin burberry.
help me.
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| bye bye bettie |
[12 Dec 2008|02:38pm] |
 and i just trimmed my bangs. how very melancholy 
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| a bit more.... |
[05 Jul 2008|02:07pm] |
i know i said i'd post these sooner, but it's been hectic.
laika.
still more, later.
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| what i've been painting, while i was not painting. |
[02 Jul 2008|11:29am] |
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okay, so the resolve to not finish work on or tye myself to canvases is officially gone. it started with the skate decks, and i'm still not really sure what's finished and what's not, but really i just can't sleep, ever.
yeah, more later. my computer hates me.
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| houston oil and pink martini |
[25 May 2008|11:26pm] |
gonna be a bit all over the place here, hold with me on this.
i have pretty new dresses, and boots. that i can't wear to work because well, i rub feet and shoulders for a living. of all the reasons people hate their jobs, really at the moment all i can muster is i hate when yuppies whine and i have to wear flats, life aint so bad.
the boyfriend is now a head hunter for BP, formerly british petroleum, i.e. the evil empire. he is directly contributing and employed by the people you and i cuss three times a day or more, as gas prices rise above 4 dollars a spit, i reconcile myself that at some point i need to tell my father, the mountainside residing hippy, that my boyfriend is not using his socio anthro degrees to help the needy to find jobs. unless you think 100,000 a year or more is needy
so to celebrate, i told juan mid week he was taking me on date. he was going to wear a nice pair of shoes and the damn armani and like it damn it. i bought the tickets and dressed up all girly-fied so it wasnt quite a sacrifice on his part but hey...yes i am the sort of fuddy duddy to go to the damn symphony and not let him play on his blackberry. but he actually enjoyed it, which is cool because this would be a deal breaker if i couldn't temper video gamer geekness with every now and then humoring me crashed out on the floor staring at the cieling crying listening to sacaris solemnis at angry decables or painting and swingin to madeline peyroux. middle ground is needed. any way, pink martini kicked ass, i would willingly shell out the cash for better seats next time after i switch to the vespa and can afford these things.
in defense of working for the oil industry in any form... welcome to capitalism. houstonites in particular: stow it. the rest of the country has been over four dollars since Wendsday, and the money not going back into lobbyists pockets to keep this thievery legal gets spread willingly or guiltily over our city. arts alliance and fresh arts? oil money. theater district? come on. we only have less seats (and nightly shows) than new york. i recognize what i do is a luxery field. i know my clients through a few degrees of separation are tipping me out of the price at the pump (commodoty traders anyone?) yes its horrible bad that i'm paying the same percentage of my paycheck to the belly of my vehicle that i was three years ago in europe, but the solutions i've heard are stupid and my largest regret is that fear for my soul prevented me from investing to profit from this evil. this is the reality check we all knew was coming, park the Escallade, admit you can't afford to supersize, maybe consider that a family of two doesn't need a five bedroom house with a den and study, and consider other things you find morally reprehensable in others. now consider investing in them.
i need a wealthy petrol chem patron, though i honestly think the full benefits would be lost on me. i'd make him buy me technicolor bras from fredricks and expensive coffee table art books. i found this at B&N a while back and wish i'd bought it.
being opinionated and bitchy is not preventing me from getting out and wandering a bit. i'm seriously considering the whole art market thing, at least once, to clear some space. i really have no idea outside of M and M2 what galleries are meant for local artists ( but wow damn holy shit are there a lot of really good russian and chinese painters being imported now.) any suggestions for wandering about on a saturday? not really with intent to display, my stuff is more place holder at cafe until they get more arty macro prints of coffee beans calebar. but i think they art market would work for me. clear some space, get a tan, etc. work is going well enough that i don't feel i have to sell art to afford to keep the lights on, (just the air conditioning.) i was really kinda feeling the whole robbing peter to pay paul. fuck paul. fuck paul with a burning stick and piss on the ashes.
i'm craving greek.
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| ah houston, i missed you |
[13 Apr 2008|07:09pm] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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back in town, back to work. im sorry i havent posted in a bit, but i cancelled out my cable bills before leaving (missing work and the cost of setting foot in the hollowed halls of transatlantic flights being a bit of a concern..) anyway, yay pirated internet!
i'm well. painting is slow but steady. work is driving me to the teetering edge of cudgel wielding madness. i went to the museum of sciences and vegged in the butterfly house for a bit. i'm mildly horrified that lucy's ancient bones are resting in the same museum as an exhibit on the virgen de guadelupe, all under the disclaimer of science. i want to punch the twat who chooses the exhibits. though the davinci machines were incredably cool.
i need a new laptop and a digital camera. come on tax refund!
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| stepped out. |
[24 Mar 2008|10:28pm] |
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gone to barcelona. be back soon.
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| humor me a moment |
[08 Mar 2008|09:33pm] |
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mood |
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 determined |
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its been a while since ive posted, i have a lot on my mind, and im sure its no real difference. its been a few months since ive been painting, its going well. im clean. smoking more but well... thats another story. finished a few writing projects, reaffirmed myself as a smut pedler extrordinair, been playing around on a few musical instruments and been rather productive. the unfinished canvases stare at me like hungry children and force me to work harder in my other industries. but the break has let me refine what it is about painting thats terrifying me.
1. its never as good on canvas as it was in my head
2. its all been done before, im bringing nothing new
3. people will laugh at me
4. im wasting mental energy on trivial things
5. im letting down people who expected better of me
its easier once i put names to the things. i mean as you read it you think 'so the fuck what? i feel that everyday, get over it.." and your right. aint it great? ive tried more things and been a failure and mediocrity than most people contemplate even attempting, and that makes me feel good. i enjoy the process of painting more than the product. they're trivial, and childish. and happy, it's where i escape to. if no one ever sees them and i never display them, i got my share from enjoying painting them. creativity is the only salve i know.
despite my head feeling nicely cleared from the break, i seem to have accidentally backed myself into a corner again. the extra income from short stories or what have you in my head is the same as tips, bonus, extra income. it gets spent on three things. the dog. books. art supplies.
so i have five (count'em. five!) blank woodgrain skatedecks heading my way. ive had the sketches for them for months, but not the money to buy them. without thinking to tell myself no, i ordered them. so i'm breaking the fast. we'll see how it goes.
in other news i seem falling in love with string quartets of late. this is an unfortunate addiction indeed. i meet a man who can play cello or bass and my heart and cunt spasm for like five seconds. its damn inconvenient. i require creme brulee and bourbon, or at least another cigarette.
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| for those lost |
[26 Feb 2008|11:16pm] |
its like a tune i can't remember
the vibrations of the last chord are gone
i'd hum it now the best i could
while i remember, i wish i could write it down
you left the world much as you found it
for all the noise you made
not an echo or a whisper
and i'll sit here and try to recall
it wouldnt sound the same now anyway
the instruments change, my voice is darker
did it sound like this?
it changes as im growing older it sounds like something else,
softer, harsher, like all the other songs i know
like something i never knew at all
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| yale street art market |
[02 Feb 2008|05:06pm] |
so went out and explored the yale street thing that i've been meaning to see for oh... about a year now. i'm anti social, it takes motivation i lack, okay?
i actually had a good time, its wasnt as crafty or strange as i feared, and i had a damn good bbq sanwich. met head honcho person mitch, who seems very level headed despite managing starving artists for some bizarre sort of martydom once a month. would be fun to have a booth up one month, talk the boyfriend into displaying some of his photo projects. could be cool.
and then i would proceed over to penzeys and blow all of my earnings on safron and bulgarian spice rubs. if you ever have a chance to go by penzeys and you enjoy cooking or just erotically fondling your olfactory senses, i really recomend it. i have some of their pure wasabi powder and its improved my life.
on another topic, this guy has changed the way i look at bik pens
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| birthday sum up |
[02 Dec 2007|04:16pm] |
year older, booo!
boyfriend came to visit, very happy goodness insued. despite spending most of friday stuck in traffic on the way to the airport. seriously it took me longer to drive there than he was on the plane. got in the last few minutes for julie's art show, which was pretty cool and would have been better if i could punch who did the lighting on some of the glossier pieces. (stand here, where i am. no, seriously, ON my toes.) was very intimidated, (the red dots weren't the ones for sale, they were the ones already SOLD! yeesh.) and was over all reaffirmed that life is pretty good. sushi, boyfriend and sushi, boyfriend and melodramatic movie where if they couldn't find another hispanic actor that just filled in with hebrews (love in the time of cholera, yech) almost done moving into apartment, and i now have spent a whole birthday without a screaming match, drunken stupor, or being called another girls name :)
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| birthday goodies and paintings. |
[27 Nov 2007|10:35pm] |
HELL FUCKIN YEAH!
getting a birthday booty call from the boyfriend! yay! he's flying all the way in just to be with lil ol' me... and the puppy.
new lil homage paintings. well, three foot tall lil paintings. still working on laika and the lil space valentines.
 
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[14 Nov 2007|10:41am] |
anyway, sorry i've been out of the loop for everyone. i'm packing and moving these next two weekends. i'll let you know if theres any sort of birthday/house party or anything...
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| teaching gene with a welding torch |
[10 Nov 2007|12:06am] |
my family are teachers, it a curse from spitting in the eye of a village witch that we shall suffer poverty and disappointment with lack luster enthusiasm of others as our only reward.
so i'm reluctant to say yes when someone offers to put a blow torch back in my hand and in some small comfort tells me i'll be making art most of the day, just the rest of it will be making sure others don't hurt themselves trying to do likewise.
it's part time, i havent done sculpture since college, but it would be tons of fun. i just don't find many other people interested in it. houston/bellair sort of area, weekends, and you need to have taken at least the first round of metalworks and safety at one of the many local community colleges. pickings will be slim, but i'm seriously considering it.
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| woot! |
[19 Oct 2007|11:02pm] |
i got a date for th MFAH tomorrow...  |
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savagelilstray's journal
tired
